Cultural Expectations and High Functioning Anxiety Amongst Latinas
Growing up, I remember mi mamá always doing something. Rest wasn’t in her vocabulary. The women in my family never sat still; it was cooking, cleaning, caring for kids, or making sure family was together. I admired their strength, but I also noticed a pattern: they had to be busy at all times. Was this devotion to familismo, our cultural value of loyalty to family, or was it something deeper, like high-functioning anxiety?
For many Latina moms, the answer is both.
Latina moms are often seen as the fuerza, the strength, of the family. Raised to be resilient and self-sacrificing, they often put their own needs last.
Familismo: The responsibility to care for everyone else often leaves little space for moms to ask for help, especially when it comes to their own mental health.
Machismo’s ripple effect: Even though it’s tied to men, it shapes women’s roles too, leaving moms feeling like they must manage it all without showing weakness.
This pressure to “hold it all together” can fuel anxiety, even when everything looks fine on the outside. “Pues así es la cosa, ¿qué le vamos a hacer?”. NOOOO. It’s time to really center and nurture the self–especially the matriarchs in our families.
But taking time for themselves often feels like a luxury Latina moms can’t afford. The “superwoman” mindset says they should balance everything perfectly and never falter. But tending to one’s mind, body, and soul isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
The guilt of putting yourself first: Even simple rest can feel wrong when family always comes first. (Looking at all the eldest daughters, and other daughters that have taken this role too ) This guilt can exacerbate anxiety, making it feel like they’re failing as mothers, wives, or daughters.
The mask of perfection: Many moms feel pressure to appear flawless for the sake of la familia, even when struggling inside. It always has been, “no digas nada” or “calladita te ves más bonita”.
Faith and community are powerful sources of support, but they can also add pressure. Anxiety is sometimes seen as weakness or a lack of faith, leaving moms to push down their struggles instead of seeking help.
Thankfully, the conversation is shifting. More Latine moms are seeking therapy, acknowledging their needs, and embracing the mind, body and soul as an act of strength. Encouraging Latina moms to take time for themselves, whether through therapy, exercise (Hello Zumba!!), or simply saying "no" when they’re overwhelmed, can help dismantle the cultural norms that discourage self-care. Cuidarse a sí misma, taking care of yourself, isn’t selfish, it’s resilience.
High-functioning anxiety is real, and it’s time to talk about it. Latine moms deserve to thrive not only for their families, but for themselves. True strength includes rest, support, and compassion for our own well-being, and it is about time the matriarchs honor their rest and tend to their minds, bodies, and souls.
Con mucho mucho amor,
Vianey Valdez
