Normalizing the Type-B Mom: Embracing Imperfection in Motherhood
If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing at being a good mom because you don’t color-code your kid’s schedule, pack IG-worthy lunches, or get your toddler to fall asleep on their own at the same time everyday, congratulations! You might just be a Type-B mom, and guess what? That’s more than okay. Actually, it’s pretty great.
What is a Type-B Mom?
A Type-B mom is flexible, go-with-the-flow kind of mom who prioritizes connection and being present over rigid rules and unrealistic expectations. She knows that childhood is messy, unpredictable, and meant to be surprising; not micromanaged.
Instead of stressing over an overflowing laundry basket or a last-minute school project, the Type-B mom focuses on what truly matters: raising happy, loved, and resilient kids.
The Pressure to Be a Type-A Mom
Society is obsessed with the Type-A mom; the one with the color-coordinated planner, the perfectly packed lunches, and the spotless house that we see on Instagram. And while there’s nothing wrong with being Type-A, the pressure to “have it all together” can be exhausting.
Here’s the thing: Kids don’t need a perfect mom; they need a mom with a regulated nervous system. And sometimes, that means embracing a more relaxed, realistic approach to parenting without guilt.
Why Being a Type-B Mom is a Strength
Being a Type-B mom doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you care differently. Here’s why your open-minded approach is actually a superpower:
You teach flexibility. Life is unpredictable, and your ability to roll with the punches helps your kids develop resilience.
You prioritize connection. Instead of getting caught up in perfection, you focus on bonding with your child in meaningful ways.
You encourage independence. Giving your kids space to explore and make mistakes helps them build confidence.
You model self-compassion. By showing yourself grace, you teach your kids that they don’t have to be perfect either.
You model nervous system regulation. Role-modeling taking deep breaths, grounding, and mindfulness to help cope with the challenges of motherhood teach your child life-long skills that they can use for themselves. Not to mention the benefits of being co-regulated with your child!
First-Gen Latinas and the Type-B Mom Experience
For many first-generation Latina moms, embracing a Type-B mindset can feel like a radical act. We were raised in homes where discipline, structure, and sacrifice were often seen as the key to being a "good parent.” Choosing to use a flexible approach to parenting can bring up feelings of guilt. For so long, we’ve been told that “doing the most” is the way we communicate our love.
Look, being a parent does mean sacrifice at times. It is also true that choosing to be a more present, emotionally connected mom doesn’t mean rejecting cultural values; it means redefining them. It means breaking cycles of burnout and letting go of el que dirán when things aren’t picture perfect. It means allowing joy, rest, and self-compassion to be part of the parenting experience. And that? That’s powerful.
Let’s Normalize the Type-B Mom
It’s time to shift the narrative around motherhood. Being a Type-B mom doesn’t mean you’re slacking; it means you’re embracing a parenting style that works for you and your family.
So if your kid’s socks don’t match, if your car is full of snack crumbs, or if your idea of meal planning is a last-minute run to Trader Joe’s; own it! Your children aren’t keeping score of how “put together” you seem. They’re just grateful to have a mom who loves them, exactly as she is.
De aquí y de allá,
Elsa Matsumoto, LCSW
